Monday, December 31, 2012

The First Post from Middle Earth

I don't know exactly what brought me back to my blog but I thought, "Why not update a post to procrastinate and let people (as if anyone is visiting this blog) know what I'm doing right now?" So this brings us to this post. Well, for those who want to know but don't know, I'm actually living in New Zealand right now, pursuing my PhD study in Computational Chemistry. It's actually been a year since I came here and this is a good indication of how often I blog. 

Coming to New Zealand is definitely one of the best things that has ever happened to me, but I have to say I expected more from this experience. I'm not saying this is bad but I had a vision before coming here and it started with me being very active, having a group of friends of my own like what I have in Malaysia. Little did I know that none of that actually came true. The introvert side of me came in and everything just came down tumbling. And it's also the difference in culture that prevented that vision to be realised. I'm used to hanging out with friends in a mall, watching movies and so on. But, there's no mall in Wellington! Besides, most of the people I get to know in the office live quite far away. In a different district or something. So, this makes it harder to have close friends. To make things worse, I'm doing a course where there is no lecture where you get to meet a lot of people which you can relate to easily. Someone once said that PhD study is a lonely journey. I can see why. Every PhD is different in its own way, the only time you get to relate to people about your project is with people in the same field. Guess what? I only have one other person in my group that knows what I'm talking about most of the time! Hence, another gap with other people. Not to mention, people here are mostly already in a group and it's difficult to just assimilate in the group. Due to the lack of malls in the area, the common entertainment in Wellington is to go pub. ....Not my cup of tea. Well, that's basically what is lacking for me here in NZ. It makes me appreciate my groups of friends back in my homeland. 

You must be sick of reading how sucky my life is. But in fact, it's not! There may be a lot of negative things that I've talked about but it isn't that bad. I learn to get by each day on my own. Learning to entertain myself on my own (please try not to think of this in a obscene way). I've been living in Penang all my life and it's the right time to step out of my comfort zone to experience new things. Taking charge of my own life has never felt this good. So, is the experience good or bad? Definitely GOOD! Despite the lack of friends, this is something that I won't trade for anything in the world. 

Tuned in for more next time! See ya!

Friday, August 20, 2010


What makes a person your friend? Money? Status? Or just the fact that he can make you laugh with his jokes?

Should friendship be limited to a bond formed between people of the same generation? Yes, it's easier to be closer to someone who is from the same generation as you do but do you ever try pushing the generation boundary further out? I mean it IS possible being friends with other people of different age group, right? So, I wonder why people don't normally do that. Isn't it great to be your parents' friend? Your boss's friend? And the most intriguing one, to me at least, is the bond between teachers and their students.

I was always curious about how far you could push the boundary or the limit in the teacher-student relationship. Of course, not to the extreme sex scandal-paedophile teacher kind of relationship. I mean it as an honest kind. Only until Form 6 that I realised it's actually possible to be close with your teacher or mentor. I always felt inferior when talking to teachers. It was during Form 2 or Form 3 when I first became close to Ms Ooi. But that time, I bet she treated us as just kids, I wonder what would it be like if she's still here. I'm still angry of the fact that I wasn't able to pay my last respect to her because of family occasion being near to the date of her funeral. Maybe it was then I started questioning the traditions and superstitions the Chinese practices.

Certainly, it's the bond between teachers and their students that causes me to make the decision to be a teacher myself. People always ask me, why not be a lecturer instead of being a school teacher. My answer would be the same, school teachers will get to interact with students more often and closer than lecturers do. Maybe it's just me not letting my school days go. But recently, I changed my mind to that perception. My supervisor proves me wrong. Lecturers DO interact with students quite closely if they want to. Most lecturers build a wall when they were talking to the students. Get past the wall and it will be a completely different thing. I've always try to get along with my teachers (the ones I think are nice people, of course) because you can see things at a different point of views from our generation. I'm glad I met Mr Ong in Form 6 but there was still a small hurdle there, maybe because he has a son of the same age group. Really feel like you can learn alot by being around the older people. Many people complained about their FYP lecturers but I'm just happy to have mine. Dr Hassan really helped me alot in my project. The fact that he said we were in a team of research rather than as supervisor and student during our first meeting makes me truly respect him already. And today, he told me that I am the first student who is ever this close to him and he treats me as a friend. Whoa! Feels damn appreciated and acknowledged! I'm not doing this to get good results or what, but I'm really curious how teachers can get connected to their students. I'm still desperately trying to figure that out with my students. Hard to get them to be more open to me. The problem might be them, might be me but one thing for sure, the fun of being a teacher is you're not going to be able to expect what is brought to the table.

One thing for certain, an educator is what I want to be, teacher, lecturer or tutor. Whatever it is, this will be my future. Can't wait to see what will happen!

*orb away*

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Life on a Flat Road

Life has been downright FLAT and BORING.

I can't wait to finish my course and move on to another phase of my life. If you think I'm emo now, think again. I'm actually quite excited to push myself forward and go further ahead in life. I don't want to have regrets that I didn't do what I should have done and things like that. It's the last year for my degree and I want to make this last journey a good one.

I might not look like it, but I'm actually quite stressed out. It's so near to the end of my bachelor degree and I just can't accept it if I fall at the very last moment. Things have been according to plan so far, and it better continue on like this. Putting too much stress on myself? LOL. No doubt about it. I'm going to have to push myself harder for this semester and the coming semester. Results are going downhill, got to at least maintain the CGPA. My standing doesn't look good; the slightest mistake can result in a major disappointment. I need to accomplish this goal! Sigh.

Oh well, no use worrying so much about it. I'm just going to do the best I can and take one step at a time. I'm quite happy with what I got for my FYP title and my supervisor. Hope he could boost my CGPA up by giving me good grade. :D:D:D Dream on!

It's hard to keep my blog alive when there is so little happening in my life now. I don't want to bore my readers about how I spend my days in school and this and that. Just feel like writing something in my blog.

Woah, it's late. SIAU LIAU!

Monday, April 19, 2010

My First Few Shots

Do you know of a certain restaurant in Sun Yat Sen Memorial Centre? No? Well, neither did I. I had the experience of dining there in conjunction of a friend's birthday. The ambience is absolutely fantastic, so is the surroundings. So I played with Damien's DSLR and instantly triggered my passion in photography. Damn it, another obsession in my life. My favourite shots of the traditional lamp.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Out of The Line

Do you have a line? I mean really, do you have a line? Are you the kind of person to draw a line for everything you do, so that you won't cross THE line?

To me, life will be so much more simpler without those lines. Do whatever you want, say whatever you want and act however you want. Wouldn't that be perfect? The reason why I'm saying this is because recently I've crossed the freedom of speech line a couple of times until, well I pissed someone off. Normally, it wouldn't be that much of a problem but I guess when we get older, the line is getting closer and closer to us. Even the little little things you do can make you cross the line. To me, a person should have a considerable amount of sarcasm in their life, preferably in the way they talk. Make things more interesting, you see. But sometimes those sarcasms might be a little too much to others. Or maybe it was just me who was constantly pouring out sarcasm without even realizing I was doing that. I'm glad that person could open up to me and tell me to stop because I don't really know when to stop in life. So now, if I ever crossed any line, please do tell me. My line and yours are totally different. 'Cause if you don't I'll keep on pouring those sarcasms, thinking that you can accept it. I'll never be able to do that to a stranger, only to close friends. But if you're one of them and can't stand it, then tell me. I always think that sarcasm is one of those stuffs that distinguish friends from strangers. Or close friends from hi-bye friends. Some might think I'm a little too harsh in the usage of my words but most of the time I don't mean it like that unless the words are used against someone I hate! LOL. Other than that, it was just for fun and gag. No big deal! And being old doesn't mean we have to be boring.

These days, I find it difficult juggling my assignments/reports/tests and tuition stuffs while maintaining my own daily personal stuffs like taking a nap and watching movies. Don't judge me. You need a balance life when you reach this point of my life or you'll go crazy. So taking a nap and watching movies, those are the minor minor things that keeps me sane most of the time. =D Even if I have to spend the whole day and night doing my work, at the end of it, I'll still spend some time doing my own personal stuff like blogging. Hence, the eye bags. In short, I would perfer having lack of sleep than not being able to do my personal everyday stuffs. Gosh, am I an idiot or what? LOL! So, having said all that, I'm still holding up despite my unorganized schedule.

Damn, I'm having quiz tomorrow (or should I say "later", LOL). Better get some rest now. Bye!

P.S : It feels good to be back in blogging business again! I hope this time it stays for good.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

What Have I Been Doing?

Sorry for not updating my blog for quite some time. I just can't find any motivation in me to start a post. Procrastinating, lazy or busy, you name it!

Anyway, just a few weeks ago, I went for a vacation out of the country for the first time. We (me, bro, mom and dad) was visiting my aunt in Taiwan. At first, I thought I would have difficulty finding food to eat. But it turned out to be very convenient for us as our hoStel was a walking distance away from the night market. The road there is very very confusing, to me at least and the cars move very fast which was the main reason why I'm afraid to cross the street there. But somehow, those Taiwanese can cross the streets even when the car is about only 10m away from them. They KNOW that the car would stop for them but I do not have that sense of security in me. LOLS. If I ever cross the street like that here in Malaysia, I would be honked the shit out of me. The weird thing is, the roads there are wide but very few cars are on the road. But here in Penang, the opposite happens. Taiwan is very similar to USM in terms of the number of dustbin available!!! LOLSSS. But people there won't simply throw rubbish like how it is in Malaysia although we can see plenty of dustbins available by the road side in Malaysia! What else is there to compare?? Hmm..You can hardly see beggers on the road over there. No stray animals. What else? Pet owners are allowed to take pets into the mall. Even the pets there are better trained than those in Malaysia. They can just put their dogs on the ground without lash and walk away. The dogs WILL follow and nobody will "pet"nap the dogs away! Very very safe environment. The photos had already been uploaded in my facebook account.

Having said all the happy stuffs, time for some rants. I'm having this heavy feelings. I don't know how to explain it, it's like I don't feel like doing anything right now. Tuition classes are starting soon. I'm teaching Physics by the way for those who didn't know already. This sem would be a terrible one for sure. I'm taking 2 Physics papers, 2 Physical Chem courses, 2 Analytical Chem courses and not to mention I have to prepare notes for my Physics tuition. Jeng jeng!! I still have no idea why I'm feeling this way. Shouldn't be because of my friends going back to their unis to study, it happens all the time.

Probably coz it's the time of the year where I was determine to do something particular but didn't do, regret's my greatest fear! But it's time to let it go.

Apong out.